This is a tragic ending to a beautiful and bright light that challenges a lot of myths about domestic violence only occurring in relationships
This is a tragic ending to a beautiful and bright light that challenges a lot of myths about domestic violence only occurring in relationships where the woman is lacking in resources.
Attorney Chiquita Tate’s professional status as a fierce, successful defense attorney did not insulate her from intimate partner violence—a reality that challenges the common misconception that domestic abuse only happens to those without resources or agency.
Some men have expressed frustration that they feel judged by their income, career, or status. At the same time, many women are thinking about a different question altogether: “How do I know I will be safe?”
Those are not the same conversation.
For many women, cases like Chiquita Tate’s become reminders that they cannot assume love, admiration, or commitment will prevent violence. They have valid concerns and often wonder:
Can this person handle my success without resentment?
How do they respond when I receive recognition?
Can they celebrate my achievements without feeling diminished?
How do they respond to disappointment, rejection, or loss of control?
Do they see me as an equal person, or as someone whose role is to validate them?
Those questions are about observable patterns of behavior, not about a person’s paycheck or job title.
The connection between domestic violence and jealousy over a woman’s career success is deeply rooted in the dynamics of power, control, and rigid gender roles. When a woman achieves professional or financial success, it can disrupt traditional power balances within a relationship, triggering abusive behaviors from a partner who feels their dominance is threatened.
Sociologists, psychologists, and advocacy experts look at this intersection through several key lenses:
1. The Threat to Status and “Masc-Injury”
In many societies, traditional masculinity is heavily tied to being the primary financial provider and the dominant figure in the household. When a female partner earns more, receives a promotion, or gains public recognition, a partner invested in traditional gender roles may experience what some psychologists call a “status injury” or threats to their self-esteem.
The Reaction: Instead of celebrating the success, the abusive partner views it as a direct zero-sum threat to their own status. To regain a sense of superiority and control, they may resort to emotional, psychological, or physical abuse to “bring her down a notch.”
2. Sabotage as a Control Mechanism
Jealousy over career success frequently manifests as targeted sabotage. An abusive partner may actively try to undermine a woman’s work performance to protect their own position of power or to keep her financially dependent. Common tactics include:
Disrupting Work Responsibilities: Causing intense arguments the night before a major presentation, hiding car keys, destroying work clothes, or intentionally refusing to help with childcare to make her late.
Isolation: Demanding she limit her hours, refuse promotions, or stop traveling for work under the guise of “caring for the family” or accusing her of having affairs with colleagues.
Financial Control: Forcing her to hand over her paycheck or micro-managing her spending, ensuring that despite her career success, she has no actual financial autonomy.
3. The Dangerous Paradox of Financial Independence
There is a common misconception that high-earning or career-successful women are immune to domestic violence because they have the resources to leave. In reality, a woman’s rising success can be a high-risk trigger for increased violence.
Losing the Financial Lever: When a woman becomes financially self-sufficient, the abusive partner loses a major lever of control (economic dependency).
Escalation: As that control slips away, the perpetrator often escalates their behavior—moving from verbal put-downs and sabotage to physical violence or severe coercive control—in a desperate bid to re-establish dominance.
4. Workplace Shaming and Public Humiliation
Abusive partners driven by professional jealousy often try to erode the woman’s confidence in her professional environment. This can include calling her workplace excessively, showing up unannounced to create a scene, or sending harassing messages during business hours. The goal is twofold: to make her feel unsafe and embarrassed at work, and to potentially jeopardize her employment so she is forced back into a position of dependency.
The Bottom Line: Professional jealousy in abusive relationships is rarely just about money or job titles. It is about autonomy. An abusive partner craves control, and a woman’s career success represents a world outside of that control—a space where she is valued, independent, and secure on her own terms.
*According to the people in their lives contributing to this story, this relationship appears to have been unhealthy at times …and then there is the domestic violence that others were unaware of.
As is often the case, lovely Chiquita Tate is the one who is no longer with us. She worked so hard to raise herself up and in the end…..This woman was such a star.
May her soul rest in power.
The New Rules of Manipulation: 12 Things Every Woman and Girl Should Know – WE Survive Abuse
🥊 Christy Salters: The Fighter Who Refused to Stay Down – WE Survive Abuse
Why Do So Many Lies Feel True? The Hidden Psychology No One Talks About – WE Survive Abuse
15 Ways Oppression Keeps Control Over Women, Even After Women Make Progress – WE Survive Abuse
Maleness Is Portable Power: 20 Reasons Women Are Still Asked to Move Over – WE Survive Abuse
Complacency Around Violence and Abuse: A longtime foe against women and children – WE Survive Abuse