Here are some of the most well-known quotes and lessons from “The Gift of Fear”:
“I encourage people to remember that “no” is a complete sentence.”
“No” is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you.”
“Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait.”
“It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different–men and women live in different worlds…at core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”
“There’s a lesson in real-life stalking cases that young women can benefit from learning: persistence only proves persistence—it does not prove love. The fact that a romantic pursuer is relentless doesn’t mean you are special—it means he is troubled.”
“Denial is a save now, pay later scheme.”
“If you tell someone ten times that you don’t want to talk to him, you are talking to them—nine more times than you wanted to.”
“The solution to violence in America is the acceptance of reality”
“Believing that others will react as we would is the single most dangerous myth of intervention.”
“We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Like rapport-building, charm and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive.”
“Only human beings can look directly at something, have all the information they need to make an accurate prediction, perhaps even momentarily make the accurate prediction, and then say that it isn’t so.”
If you have not read this book yet please make 2024 (well 2026 now) the year that you read The Gift of Fear
by Gavin de Becker.
Each and every woman and every person who cares about a woman ought to read this book from cover to cover.
by Gavin de Becker.