We say, “It takes a village.” But more often than not, “the village” means the women. The ones who give their time, their rest, their breath, and
Photo by Osarugue Igbinoba/Unsplash.com
We say, “It takes a village.”
But more often than not, “the village” means the women.
The ones who give their time, their rest, their breath, and their dreams.
💸 The Invisible Cost of Unpaid Labor
Raising children.
Keeping the house clean and livable.
Planning meals.
Running errands.
Doctor appointments.
Soothing fears.
Managing school, emotions, routines, and transitions.
This is labor.
This is management.
This is care work.
According to Salary.com, if mothers were paid for all the tasks they do in one year, their work would be worth over $184,820 annually (2023 estimate). And yet?
Most women doing this work get paid nothing.
Not in money.
Not in rest.
Not in recognition.
Not in time for their own healing and joy.
👵🏽 What We Ask of Our Elders
And then we turn to Mama. Big Mama. Nana.
We ask:
“Can you watch the baby while I work?”
“Can the kids stay with you while we get on our feet?”
“Can you raise them while we figure things out?”
And she says yes, because she loves us. Because she loves them.
But let us not forget:
When we ask Grandma to raise another generation, we are also asking her to:
Delay or give up her own healing
Miss her chance to rest her bones, spirit, and mind
Postpone dreams she had quietly tucked away
Put off caring for her own body, spirit, and health
Miss the joy of being with friends, lovers, or solitude
Lose the right to say: “I’ve done enough.”
🧠 Think About This:
The men her age—Papa, Pops, Granddad—they’re often free to retire, take trips, rest their bodies, date again, find hobbies, live in stillness or adventure.
But Mama is still expected to sacrifice.
We see this across cultures, across languages, across generations.
And we call it love—but too often, it is unseen labor.
👂🏽 Younger Generations—Hear This
You are fighting to be seen.
To be heard.
To heal.
To be paid fairly.
To rest and reclaim your time.
Mama deserves the same.
Grandma deserves the same.
Big Mama deserves the same.
You are not selfish to want healing and peace.
But don’t ask her to give up hers for yours.
🧡 Let’s Say This Aloud:
Raising children is labor.
Keeping house is labor.
Caretaking is labor.
Grandmothering is labor.
All women deserve rest, pay, safety, healing, and peace.
All women, including women in their middle and senior years, deserve to be seen.
WeSurviveAbuse believes in honoring the full story of women’s lives.
Not just what they gave—
But what they still deserve to receive.
Please remind her that she is deserving of these things even if cultural, social, or familial conditioning has said otherwise. See her. Hear her. Love her.
