Imagine If We Told Men to “Be Kind” as Often as We Tell Women

You can absolutely tell who is male and who is female. Men have been raging at NataleeBFitness all week long. Ever since she announced that her new

You can absolutely tell who is male and who is female. Men have been raging at NataleeBFitness all week long. Ever since she announced that her new fitness gym is for women only. Not just raging, but sending death threats to she and her supporters. Threatening to invade the establishment anyway.

But guess what? No online explosion of reminders to “be kind”. Many are admonishing women for not being “kind”. All women did was say, “no”. Men are behind the death threats ….but complete and useless silence.

The phrase “be kind” is everywhere. It’s stitched onto pillows, printed on T-shirts, and written in pastel-colored fonts on social media. But if you take a closer look, you’ll notice something unsettling:

This message is primarily aimed at women and girls.

Despite the rampant and growing crises of sexism, misogyny, and femicide, you rarely see “be kind” messaging directed at men. When you search for images associated with the phrase, they overwhelmingly feature women, soft hues, and feminine aesthetics—as if kindness is something only women should embody.

At first, I brushed it off as just another societal quirk. But the more I observed, the clearer it became:

People are buying into this imbalance, and the consequences are real.

Weaponizing “Kindness” to Control Women

When women set boundaries or say “no,” the backlash is immediate.

Women who assert themselves are met with:
🚨 Slurs and verbal abuse
🚨 Threats, stalking, and harassment
🚨 Social shaming and exclusion
🚨 Censorship, banning, and professional retaliation

All of this happens because a woman made a choice.

Women are conditioned to believe that standing up for themselves is an act of cruelty. Meanwhile, there is no parallel demand for men to stop abusive, predatory, or violent behavior. Society isn’t pushing them to be kind—it’s pushing women to be silent, be small, and be submissive.

The Double Standard: Where’s the Call for Men to Change?

Instead of demanding an end to male violence, society continues to pressure women to be more compliant, more agreeable, more accommodating to male concerns—as if that’s the solution.

This mirrors the dynamics of an abusive home:
“Dad will never change, so it’s on you, Mom. Sorry. Conform. Submit. Obey. Keep the peace so we can survive.”

But women and girls are not the world’s caretakers. We are not responsible for managing men’s behavior or absorbing the consequences of their unchecked actions.

And yet, the same people who laugh at degrading “jokes” at a woman’s expense will post “SMH RIP” the next day when a woman is murdered for rejecting a man’s advances.

It’s hypocrisy in its purest form.

A New Message: Men, Be Kind.

Women have done enough emotional labor. Enough self-sacrifice. Enough silence.

So here’s a radical thought:
🔹 If kindness is important, teach boys and men to embody it.
🔹 If boundaries are healthy, support women when they enforce them.
🔹 If we truly care about violence against women, start holding men accountable instead of policing women’s responses.

Because real kindness is about justice. And that starts with speaking the truth—loudly, clearly, and unapologetically.

Men, be kind.

P.S. In case you are wondering, all too frequently, this is exactly how it goes in court whether the case is about rape, domestic violence, child abuse, or family annihilation.