We have never given domestic and sexual assault victims the credit that they deserve. -Tonya GJ Prince Too often, people assume that victims of domes
We have never given domestic and sexual assault victims the credit that they deserve. -Tonya GJ Prince
Too often, people assume that victims of domestic violence are “stupid” for staying, for “not fighting back”, or for appearing quiet in the face of abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Separation is the most dangerous time for victims of abuse.
What looks like silence, stillness, or calm to outsiders is actually a powerful survival tactic.
Why Calmness is a Survival Skill
Abusers thrive on chaos.
They want their target to react, because reaction feeds their control.Calm is protective.
By staying calm, Survivors avoid escalating a situation that could turn deadly in seconds.The brain on danger.
Domestic violence experts explain that the human nervous system is wired for fight, flight, or freeze—but some Survivors master a fourth strategy: regulate. Remaining calm under fire. This is strategic.Behavioral experts confirm.
People in high-stress hostage situations, pilots in emergencies, and even soldiers are trained to do what many Survivors taught themselves: slow down, breathe, and think clearly when surrounded by irrational aggression.
What Survivors Know That Saves Lives
When you listen to Survivors, you hear the same truth:
“I learned not to yell back. That’s what kept me alive.”
“I stayed calm because I had to keep thinking—for myself, for my children.”
“If I cried or begged, it only made things worse. Calmness was my shield.”
This isn’t weakness. It’s strategy. It’s intelligence. It’s survival.
Why We Should Pay Attention
Survivors are not passive—they are active tacticians in life-or-death situations.
What they model is something we all need in daily life:
Staying calm in the face of road rage.
Not escalating an argument with a stranger.
Remaining steady during a workplace confrontation.
A Word of Caution
Experts warn: Never agitate someone who is irrational and out of control.
Abusers are often beyond reason. Out of reach. Out of touch. Irrational.
Escalation can trigger more violence.
Calmness doesn’t mean agreement—it means survival. What you may view as weakness is strength under fire.
The Lesson for All of Us
Domestic violence Survivors show us a powerful truth:
👉 Calm is not weakness.
👉 Calm is not stupidity.
👉 Calm is wisdom under fire.
When the world is out of its mind, the ability to remain calm can save your life.
