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Unmasking Abuse by Proxy

Abuse by proxy isn’t only used by individuals—it is also wielded by organizations, well funded interest groups, corporations, religions, and (politi

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Abuse by proxy isn’t only used by individuals—it is also wielded by organizations, well funded interest groups, corporations, religions, and (political parties)governments. This tactic allows powerful people to appear as if they have “clean hands” while acts of racism, misogyny, and bigotry are carried out in broad daylight through policies, procedures, or loopholes.

Examples of Abuse by Proxy in Action

  • Prisons: Male inmates are housed in women’s prisons, creating conditions where incarcerated women are coerced, manipulated, and silenced under the guise of “policy.”

  • Courtrooms: Female rape victims are compelled to call men accused of rape “she/her” while swearing to tell the truth. Survivors are forced into language that denies their own reality as they seek justice.

  • Child Welfare Systems: Government agencies remove children from women who file complaints against the agencies or their agents. Instead of protecting the family, systems punish women for daring to speak up.

  • Women, men, and children are threatened by law enforcement 

The Pattern

These examples reveal the same underlying pattern: abuse hidden behind rules, paperwork, and authority. Institutions become the proxy, carrying out harm while shielding individuals from accountability. The message to Survivors is clear—your safety and dignity can be sacrificed for appearances, politics, or convenience.

Why It Matters

Recognizing abuse by proxy at the institutional level is essential. If we only look for abuse in private relationships, we miss the ways entire systems weaponize power against women and children. Survivors deserve protection not only in homes and families, but also in courts, prisons, and government halls.

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