When someone in your life always chooses to have hurt feelings, especially over things that arenât intended to be hurtful, it can feel like walking th
When someone in your life always chooses to have hurt feelings, especially over things that arenât intended to be hurtful, it can feel like walking through a minefield barefoot. You’re always cautious, always adjusting, but never quite safe from their reaction.
Letâs be honest: thereâs a difference between being emotionally sensitive and weaponizing hurt feelings to control a space.
đ„ Hereâs How to Deal with Someone Who Always Chooses to Be Hurt:
1. Recognize the Pattern
Is their hurt used to silence others?
Do they make everything about how they feelâeven in situations that arenât about them?
Do they avoid accountability by crying âoffendedâ whenever truth is spoken?
âĄïž Naming the pattern helps you avoid internalizing blame that doesnât belong to you.
2. Stop Over-Explaining
When someone wants to feel hurt, no amount of explaining will clear things up.
They arenât seeking understanding. Theyâre seeking control.
âĄïž You are not responsible for how someone chooses to interpret what you said or didâespecially when your intentions are kind and your behavior respectful.
3. Set Clear, Compassionate Boundaries
You can say:
âI care about you, but I canât take responsibility for emotions that donât belong to me.â
âItâs okay if we donât always agree. But I wonât walk on eggshells in this relationship.â
âĄïž Let your boundary be soft in tone but firm in practice.
4. Donât Take the Bait
Their reaction may be designed to make you feel guilty, defensive, or unsure.
But you donât have to match their energy. You can stay grounded in truth and keep your peace.
âĄïž Youâre not coldâyouâre clear.
5. Decide What You’re Willing to Carry
If every interaction leaves you feeling depleted, resentful, or like youâre shrinking yourself to keep the peaceâŠ
Thatâs not a relationship. Thatâs emotional labor without consent.
âĄïž Give yourself permission to love from a safe distance if needed.
đ Affirmation for You:
“I will not dim my light to accommodate someoneâs chosen shadows. I can be kind without being controlled. I can be compassionate without being manipulated. I am allowed to growâeven if others feel threatened by it.”