Wherever there is harm—whether domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, or racism—there is often the same pattern: minimization, denial, and reve
Wherever there is harm—whether domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, or racism—there is often the same pattern: minimization, denial, and reverse blaming. Survivors are shamed for naming the truth, while those who cause harm deflect accountability. This cycle is not an accident; it is part of the harm itself. And it is universal.
Reflection: “Playing Victim” in the System
When they aren’t sorry for the harm,
they accuse you of “playing victim.”
They know exactly what they’re doing.
After slavery, there were no reparations.
Instead came new campaigns of terror—lynchings, Jim Crow, Black codes, redlining.
Instead came intentional poverty—sharecropping, wage theft, stolen land.
Instead came criminalization—mass incarceration, drug wars, policing that turns survival into a crime. Black people are still in prison for selling marijuana that is now legal to sell and use.
And when communities raise their voices?
When they name the harm?
The same silencing words appear:
“You’re playing victim.”
“That was in the past.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
But the truth is clear:
There has never been a season of healing and restoration.
There has never been national repentance, repair, or apology.
So when Black communities call out the pattern—
they are not “playing victim.”
They are remembering.
They are protecting their children.
They are refusing to be fooled and re-traumatized another day.
*Related side-bar: This country put Billie Holiday -a Survivor of rape, abuse, and racism- through hell for literally being sick and tired and speaking the truth about what it was doing to Black people. Meanwhile it kept on doing it.
Affirmations for Collective Voice
- We are not “playing victim.” We are naming truth.
- Our survival is not an exaggeration. It is a divine miracle.
- Our boundaries as a people are sacred.
- We are not responsible for rescuing reputations. We are here to protect our peace.
- Remembering the pattern is power, not weakness.
- We deserve healing, repair, and safety without delay.
