updated from November 25, 2025 Staying informed is an act of power. Because once you see how the system works, you stop begging for fairness and
updated from November 25, 2025
Staying informed is an act of power.
Because once you see how the system works, you stop begging for fairness and start demanding change.
Some days I sit with this question—not because I want to, but because the evidence keeps stacking itself in front of me.
A man shot a Black woman.
A man shot Megan Thee Stallion.
A man with everything to lose took out a gun and shot her.
Where I come from, when someone gets shot, the entire community rises up in empathy.
We pull close.
We bring comfort.
We choose compassion—even if we don’t know the person.
But somehow that rule doesn’t seem to apply when the victim is a Black woman.
Not in hip hop.
Not in the online spaces run by men with microphones.
Not in these little digital pulpits where cruelty gets passed off as entertainment.
When Megan Thee Stallion survived, she was blamed for surviving.
When she sought justice, she was blamed for that too.
And now?
Now we’re watching grown men—Black men with platforms—laugh about her pain.
They talk about “simulating shooting her” in a video game.
As if her body… her fear… her life… were all just part of some punchline.
And these are the same voices who turn around and ask why women “never acknowledge” the “good men.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this pattern:
Women speak up about harm.
Men respond with jokes about the harm.
Then those same men ask why women don’t feel safe.
Someone (user Maryam) once said something like:
“Women despise men as a system. Men despise women as people.”
I felt that in my bones.
Because what we’re witnessing right now isn’t a small misunderstanding.
It’s a larger truth:
Black women’s pain is still treated like entertainment.
Black women’s trauma still doesn’t earn compassion.
And the laughter—the casual, almost bored laughter—tells the real story.
I’m not saying all men use their platforms this way.
But I am saying this:
If the men who don’t believe in harming women want to be known…
If they want to be recognized…
If they want women to trust that they exist…
They’re going to have to start speaking louder than the ones who turn our pain into content.
Because women are not asking for perfection.
We are asking for humanity.
We are asking for compassion where it has repeatedly been denied.
We are asking—simply—for men to stop laughing when a Black woman bleeds.
*This platform does not speak from perfection, we speak from the practice of unlearning harm.
13 Things Black Men Could Be Using Their Mics to Talk About
Social soap operas, sports commentary around men who already have theirs, and gossip are fine in sprinkles. But when you are a political target, you must learn and focus on expanding your spaces, voice, knowledge, and training just to enhance the quality of health, safety, and wellness for your fellow men. Focusing on women who have made themselves successful, wealthy, and educated (Megan has a bachelor’s degree with no student loans attached) is a waste of time, especially when you leave your fellow man to struggle in pain, lack of opportunities, and/or poverty.
Lead from the mic. It is a privilege denied to many around the world today. It is a privilege that was denied to your ancestors and elders.
You are a political target. You’ve got 99 problems, and how women you do not even know choose to live their lives is not one of them.
1. Male Sexual Abuse
So many boys and men carry this pain in silence.
They need brothers who can speak truthfully, remove shame, and fight the stigma. Men must create circles, spaces, and language around pain. And then make sure that all the men and boys are fluent. Harming others with your pain only brings more pain for you and everyone around you.
2. Healing After Childhood Trauma
Men deserve help learning how childhood wounds shape adult behavior—and how to heal instead of harm themselves and/or others.
3. Emotional Literacy and Expression
Black men need space to talk about feelings, conflict, fear, grief, and vulnerability without being mocked. Don’t let anyone weaponize Black men’s frustration.
Not politicians. Not pundits. Not influencers chasing clicks.
Anger is valid. But without information, anger becomes someone else’s strategy.
4. Fatherhood and Healthy Parenting
Not just “providing,” but being emotionally available, patient, gentle, and protective. Our elder example for this post is Tom Joyner, the legendary “Fly Jock.” A man loved and adored by millions. He worked hard and he loved hard. He spoke openly about his love of being a father and his love for his children.
5. Male Friendships and Support Systems
Men need to hear men encourage deeper bonds, accountability, and community—not isolation. Men must encourage one another in ways that do not revolve around slurring and controlling women.
6. Mental Health and Depression
Real talk about anxiety, burnout, silent suffering, and how untreated pain spreads to families. Women talk about these things, but men have brains that require care too.
7. Male Health Care Needs
Heart disease. Diabetes. Prostate health. Colon Screenings.
Early screenings. Exercise that goes beyond gym culture and sports.
Taking their bodies seriously.
8. Incarceration, Re-entry, and True Rehabilitation
What men face after prison—housing, jobs, shame, rebuilding identity—and how community can help. Is there real financial investment in this? Are people—men and women—being prepared to re-enter the community? There is profit in investing in American prisons. Is any of it going into the prisoners’ re-entry preparation? Everyone in the community benefits from this.
9. Healthy Love and Non-Violent Relationships
Not the kind that blames women but teaches men to love women without controlling women. Healthy mutually loving relationships where needs are met.
How to love without possession.
How to honor boundaries.
How to recognize controlling behavior and stop cycles before they start.
10. Financial Literacy and Stability
Budgeting. Saving. Credit. Building generational wealth the safe way, not the flashy way. AND demanding equitable opportunities so that Black men and boys do not fall into deep despair. What about land owed to Black families? Are HBCUS, trades, and other opportunities being invested in more than people are investing in prisons to place you in?
11. Community Protection
How men can show up for kids, women, elders, and vulnerable people without ego or performance. Forget finding a woman you can push into making you the leader of the home. Are you leading where you are right now? How?
12. Being a Better Man to Other Men
Calling out harm.
Lifting each other up.
Settling disputes without further harm.
Cultivating spaces where accountability is strength, not betrayal.
13. Systemic Literacy and Fluency
Black men deserve more than survival tips.
We need systemic literacy.
Courts. Schools. Banks. Healthcare. Jobs. Voting. Political action that does not lean solely on the tool of protesting. How else can you push for change?
The system studies us. We better study it back.
Systemic literacy is self-defense for Black men.
Not paranoia. Preparation.
Knowing how power moves can protect your money, your freedom, your family, and your future. Your LIFE.
A Black man who understands the system is harder to manipulate.
Harder to silence. Harder to exploit.
That’s why knowledge matters.
That’s why history matters.
That’s why policy matters.
And we miss you, Tom Joyner. Had us partying with purpose all over this land. Had us excited to jump in the car on the way to taking kids to school and heading to work because we knew the commute was going to have us laughing, loving, and learning.
The legendary Tom Joyner, featured
- “Take a Love One to the Doctor Day”,
- “Real Fathers, Real Men”,
- “Single Moms”
- raised money and awareness for HBCUs
- taught valuable history lessons with 365 Black
- raised awareness for people needing community support and financial health (Post Hurricane Katrina he was there letting us know the needs in the community)
- raised awareness about injustice and inequality and so much more.
When it came to speaking on women, were they perfect?
No. Not at all. I will not name them, but there were some disappointing moments. When women expressed offense I can also recall them opening the phone lines to listen.
But I’d say, in my opinion, they got beyond a passing grade because something was different about how often they booked women as guests and did not bully, harass, embarrass, or coerce them into a predetermined narrative. Women, children, and men all got a turn at being uplifted.
We need to bring this back. Anyone who gets to take the mic ought to be sure that they are building and not destroying.
Black men are a political target because your power is real.
Your votes matter. Your voice matters. Your presence matters.
Your influence matters. On a global scale. The system knows good and well that Black men can shift culture and elections.
Your absence matters.
That’s why narratives get built around you before we even speak. When you were just minding your business, someone else was studying your business. For their gain, not yours.
Speak. Speak powerfully.