Disturbing Someoneâs Peace Like This Is VIOLENCE â And We Must Stop Pretending Otherwise
For too long, people have treated womenâs safety, childrenâs innocence, and the peace of vulnerable people as something small â something optional, so [...]
The Fable of the Flame that Would Not Bow: The Importance of Help Seeking Language in Troubled Times
Discouragement is part of the battle. It always has been. But defeatist language can become dangerous when it stops people from seeking help, making p [...]
If the Silencing Isnât for Women or Children⌠Then Who Is It For?
Silence is powerful.
It can be sacred. Healing. Necessary for rest, prayer, and wisdom.
But when silence is demandedânot chosenâwhen itâs forced upo [...]
You Shrink So Others Donât Feel Threatened
But What Happens When You Stop?
The Sign:You minimize your gifts, your pain, your truthâbecause youâve been told your full presence makes people unco [...]
Dr. Tracey Marks: What is Delusional disorder? How Is It Different From Schizophrenia?
Some Survivors are people who have escaped being stalked relentlessly by someone with delusional disorder. Some people were in a relationship but othe [...]
How to Know Youâre Not SafeâEven If No Oneâs Hitting You
(And Why So Many Survivors Miss the Signs)
If youâve ever wondered, âIs this really abuse?â or told yourself, âAt least theyâre not hitting me,ââyouâ [...]
You Donât Have to Stay Where Youâre Not Safe
Some of us are trying to bloom in gardens that were never planted for us.
We show up with our hands fullâbandages, truth-telling, receipts, prayers, [...]
‘Playing Victimâ: How Racism Silences Black Voices and Blocks True Healing in America
Wherever there is harmâwhether domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, or racismâthere is often the same pattern: minimization, denial, and reve [...]
Politicians Must Stop Dismissing Us: Women’s Safety is Non-Negotiable
Political leaders must prioritize the rights women need in our own rightânot just the ones tied to men.
Yes, women must have the right to make ou [...]
If the Harm Is Precise, Our Words Must Be Precise
I see you. You see me. We see one another.
There are groups who are targeted because of who they are â yet the moment they try to name that truth, pe [...]
The Book I AvoidedâUntil I Couldn’t Anymore
By a Survivor Who Now Understands Why the Caged Bird Sings
Iâve always been a voracious reader.
Since as far back as I can remember, my mother [...]
đŠ When His Praise Requires Another Womanâs Demeaning: Thatâs Not a ComplimentâThatâs a Red Flag
At first, you felt flattered.He spoke highly of you. Said you were different. Said you were âbetterâ than the women of his own race. Smarter. Softer. [...]
Pregnancy, Panic, and the Past: Supporting Survivors Through the Miracle of Birth
*Updated for 2025
When a close relativeâletâs call her Morganâannounced her pregnancy, our entire family was ecstatic.
I wanted to hear ever [...]
Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades
Across social media and public conversations, there is a pattern many Black women recognize immediately. When a crisis emerges somewhere in the wor [...]
Domestic Violence Is Rising While Survivor Services Are Disappearing: What the Latest Data Reveals
I donât know if you saw this, but while overall violent crime is reportedly on the decline, domestic violence in the U.S. has actually risen by ab [...]
Safety Requires Strategy â Not Just âBeing Niceâ!
As an advocate, Iâve aided thousands of women in creating safety plans to stay alive from people close to them â friends, family, spouses!
Believing [...]
Myth: âWomen Are Safe as Long as There Are Good Men Aroundâ
Reality: Women Are Only as Safe as the Boundaries and Protections We Demand
One of the most misleading and harmful ideas about womenâs safety is the [...]
Whispered Civil Rights Movement Secrets: Fannie Lou Hamer the Truth Teller
There are peopleâloud and determinedâwho would have you believe that the systemic rape of women of color ended with slavery.That is a lie. A har [...]
Gaslighting on a National Scale: Why Treating Black Women Like a Burden Is Abuse, Not Oversight
Donât Call It a Favor
The nerveâthe absolute gallâto act like you're doing us a favor by ending discrimination.
By âallowingâ Black people, especial [...]
10 Future Faking Abuse Statements Survivors Should Recognize and Trust Their Gut About
10 Future Faking Abuse Statements
âIâm going to get helpâjust give me a little more time.âUsed to delay accountability and stop the Survivor [...]
Who Benefits From My Silence?
Every time I swallowed the truth, someone else got fed.Fed with power.Fed with protection.Fed with the benefit of the doubt.
But it wasnât me. [...]
Nell Carter: A Voice That Refused to Break
When I was a child, Nell Carter was one of my favorite entertainers. She still is. I had to share her with millions of other people though.
[...]
How to Support Lesbian Friends in Abusive Relationships
As an advocate, you become familiar with the careful way that a woman tells you her story. She's testing your waters. Are you safe? Are you judgment [...]
11 Ways to Maintain Your Cool When Life Has No Chill
originally published 12/22/16Circa 1980 something, New JerseyMy mother: "So, if everybody else goes crazy does that you mean you go crazy too?"Me:.... [...]
Money, Morality, and Misunderstanding: Why Women Must See Clearly
Sometimes we align with people because we believe we share values. But values that havenât been tested by deprivation often lack depth.
Women [...]
30 Things You Can Do Right Now to Support Domestic Violence Survivors in the U.S.
If youâre heartbroken, angry, or tired of seeing Survivors harmed, silenced, or shamedâyou are not alone.But feelings arenât enough. Survivors need [...]
We Will Never Have a Safer World If We Donât Treat Survivors with Respect
We keep saying we want a safer world. blah, blah, blahBut we will never get there until we demand that society do better and be better toward Surviv [...]
Other Peopleâs Emotional Unavailability Is Not Your Fault
Survivor, youâve carried so much.
Youâve fought for healing, for hope, for wholenessânot just for yourself, but for others too. Youâve tried to pour [...]
đ Respectable-Silencing Is Still Silencing
đ Respectable-Silencing Is Still Silencing
And itâs one of the most dangerous kinds.
Some people wonât yell over you.They wonât insult you.They wo [...]
Respecting Black Women’s Hair: Embracing Autonomy and Wellness
We don't often speak about the impact that trauma has on hair. Maybe we should. Throughout my healing journey, my hair has told on me. And the women a [...]
When They Say Speaking About Racism is the Problem: The Same Old Victim-Blaming Playbook
There is a pattern.
A Survivor of abuse speaks up, and the world responds: "Why now?"
"Youâre just being divisive."
"Talking about it [...]