🚫 STOP ASKING US TO GET USED TO BEING HARMED
People don’t listen to women and children.
Not when we whisper.Not when we scream.Not even when we show up with a mountain of evidence, hospital re [...]
Twice as Good Doesn’t Stop at the Boardroom
Black Women Must Be Twice as Vigilant About Safety—Because We Are Rarely Given the Benefit of the Doubt We’ve heard it since childhood:“You’ve got [...]
Even When They Didn’t Hear Your “No,” You Still Deserve to Be Heard
Sometimes the harm didn’t stop when you said no.Sometimes the people who should have protected you didn’t pause, didn’t question, didn’t care.And beca [...]
You’re Not Her Judge. You’re Not Even Helpful.
🖤 WeSurviveAbuse.com
The internet is full of people who think that offering opinions on a Survivor’s choices is the same as offering help.It’s not. [...]
Why “I Don’t Care About Potential Harm-Doers” Sounds Empowering But Isn’t
We get it.You’re tired of tiptoeing.You’re tired of warning signs, red flags, and feeling like you have to carry the burden of watching your back all [...]
💔 When the Weight Is More Than Weight: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Body Size
I know. This is sensitive territory. This is my battle too.
As a Survivor, I know how heartless, cruel, and unkind people can be to those [...]
📣 When Vulnerability Is Met with Violence: What the Numbers Refuse to Let Us Ignore
It amazes me that people call others "hateful" for speaking up for their right to safe boundaried spaces.
You have no idea what another individual's [...]
Survivor Q & A: What Do You Mean by “Sacred Castes” in Violence & Abuse? (video)
updated 2025
Below are 10 signs of a “sacred caste”—a group, ideology, or identity that becomes exempt from criticism, even when doing harm [...]
🌿 Faith, Healing, and the Work of Safe People
People who support Survivors—from all walks of life—should know this:
many Survivors are people of faith. Not all. But many. Some draw stre [...]
🚩 When His Praise Requires Another Woman’s Demeaning: That’s Not a Compliment—That’s a Red Flag
At first, you felt flattered.He spoke highly of you. Said you were different. Said you were “better” than the women of his own race. Smarter. Softer. [...]
Why Are Women Told to Stay Calm About Things That Should Horrify Everyone?
When women, girls, and children talk about boundaries, it’s not hate speaking. It’s concern. It’s exhaustion. It’s survival language. Too often, th [...]
Red Flags: Why Do Some People Refuse to Challenge Systems of Harm — and What Does that Reveal About Them?
Women’s safety movements grew from necessity — from the silences of law, the blind spots of culture, and the cruelty of normalized harm. Every woman l [...]
6 Ways Asking for Help Enriches Your Life
I realize that in our society, it is almost fashionable to come down on someone in need. Unfortunately, this keeps millions upon milli [...]
Why Females Are the Most Vulnerable Group of Human Beings
Across cultures, eras, and systems, females are positioned as the most vulnerable group of human beings — not because of weakness, but because of the [...]
Whispered Civil Rights Movement Secrets: Fannie Lou Hamer the Truth Teller
There are people—loud and determined—who would have you believe that the systemic rape of women of color ended with slavery.That is a lie. A har [...]
When Disability and Blackness Meet: Over 25 Times When Grace Was Denied To Disabled Black People
There is a quiet cruelty that rarely gets named plainly. It lives in the space where Blackness and disability intersect. It shows up not only in drama [...]
Who Protects the Women Whose Stories Don’t Trend
The work of women's safety, women's rights, women's liberation and women's healing is not a music and entertainment battle. When our movements turn [...]
Green Flag: Safe Adult Males Stay Out of Female Spaces and Advocate for It
Miss us entirely with all of your hurdles for women to clear demonstrating that we can "be kind" in a world does nothing to make this world safer for [...]
Sherrice Iverson: The Deadly Danger of Deprioritizing the Safety of Girls
On 5/28/23 I posted about one of the worst murder cases seen in Nevada casino history. The murder of little Sherrice Iverson.
"Do not make it easier [...]
Affirmations for Strength and Boundaries Around Black Women’s Humanity: Rooted in Baldwin’s Wisdom
"We can disagree and still love each other, unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression
and denial of my humanity and right to exist."
-Jame [...]
Divide, Distract, and Conquer: The Hidden Cost of DEI Myths
You know, in Black American wisdom, there’s a deep understanding that the most dangerous blow is the one you never saw coming.
“Being blindsided isn’ [...]
You Weren’t Difficult. You Were Just Finally Done Pretending It Didn’t Hurt
They called you difficult.Unreasonable.Too sensitive.Hard to love.
But what they really meant was:You stopped making it easy for them to mistreat y [...]
30 Things You Can Do Right Now to Support Domestic Violence Survivors in the U.S.
If you’re heartbroken, angry, or tired of seeing Survivors harmed, silenced, or shamed—you are not alone.But feelings aren’t enough. Survivors need [...]
What the Sonya Massey Law Means — A Win for Vulnerable Women and Police Accountability in Illinois
On August 12, 2025, Illinois lawmakers signed Senate Bill 1953, the landmark reform known as the Sonya Massey Law, into law. This critical legislati [...]
Healing When Your Abuser Is Still Welcome at the Table
The betrayal no one wants to talk about—but every Survivor remembers. There’s a kind of betrayal that lives in the silence.In the sideways glan [...]
Believe in What Believes in You.
Why spend your precious energy trying to prove your humanity to systems, circles, or people who have already decided they don’t see you? That they don [...]
Listen to Warnings from Girls
Updated for 2025 Gwinnett Man Murdered Wife In Front Of Teen Son On November 16, 2015, Sheldon Sawyor shot his wife Vanessa Black 13 times. O [...]
Motherhood in the Shadow of Violence
Motherhood has often been romanticized in myths and sentiment, yet the brutal reality remains: for many women, pregnancy and early motherhood are hig [...]
You Don’t Get Grievance Without a Vacuum of Accountability
Grievance doesn’t grow in a vacuum. It grows where accountability is absent, deferred, or endlessly redirected.
This is a profound distinction [...]
Stop Calling It “Race Baiting”: Black Maternal Death Is a Life-or-Death Reality (podcast episode)
Black women speaking about maternal death are not “race baiting.” This is a call-out of minimization, deflection, and tone policing when mothe [...]
The Real Exclusion Happens When We Refuse to Face the Truth: Male on Male Violence
It is not women who are being exclusionary when we protect our spaces.It is not women who are the barrier to real, lasting change.
When people refuse [...]