People say it like a verdict. “She was no angel.” But I’ve sat across from women others were quick to throw away. Once they started speaking and t
People say it like a verdict.
“She was no angel.”
But I’ve sat across from women others were quick to throw away. Once they started speaking and telling me their stories, I didn’t see enemies of progress.
I saw pain.
You see somebody’s baby girl who was told to survive what no one should ever have to endure—and never speak of it again. You see a woman piecing herself together with what little the world left her: a bottle, a pill, a hit, a silence, a scream.
I’m not a therapist. I don’t claim to be. I’m proud of my role as an advocate and activist.
When a woman comes to me and shares she’s been using, curiosity and compassion fuels the team. Because what crosses our minds isn’t “what’s wrong with her?”—it’s “what happened to her, and who can help her?”
I’ve learned to listen closely. Because in her voice, even when it’s shaking, you can hear clues. Sometimes her story spills out in scattered pieces. Sometimes it’s buried under years of survival.
And I remember this:
Substance use is common among Survivors of domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault.
According to the National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health:
Up to 75% of women in substance use treatment report a history of abuse or trauma.
Survivors may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb overwhelming emotional pain, manage PTSD symptoms, or simply to get through one more day.
Trauma and addiction are not strangers—they are often walking hand in hand.
This isn’t just theory. This is what we have seen too many times in eyes above mouths people did not listen to. This is what too many live through.
So the next time someone says, “She was no angel,” I hope we all pause.
Because being in pain doesn’t make you less deserving of protection.
Being addicted doesn’t cancel out your humanity.
Being imperfect doesn’t mean you deserve violence.
Judgment is easy.
But if you really care about women, about healing, about justice—
you’ll look deeper.
You’ll ask better questions.
You’ll listen for the pain under the behavior.
And maybe, like me, you’ll start making phone calls instead of making assumptions.
Because Survivors deserve real support. Not just when they’re easy to love. But especially when they’re not.
[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]
Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs. And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.