"I don’t want to hear you say, 'Honey, I’m behind you.' Well, move, I don’t want you back there because you could be 200 miles behind. I want you to
“I don’t want to hear you say, ‘Honey, I’m behind you.’ Well, move, I don’t want you back there because you could be 200 miles behind. I want you to say, ‘I’m with you!’ And we’ll go up this freedom road together.”
– Fannie Lou Hamer (1917-1977) Activist and humanitarian.
Words are easy.
Social media posts are easy.
Hashtags are easy.
Photos with the right shirt, the right quote, the right smile—that’s all easy.
But real protection? Real advocacy? Real love? That takes sacrifice. That takes alignment. That takes courage.
So we ask you this, with no frills and no fluff:
What are the people in your life protecting?
Are they protecting opportunities for girls to dream, to be safe, to breathe?
Are they protecting the dignity and autonomy of women who are tired of being reduced to body parts, roles, and usefulness to men?
Are they protecting the right of women and girls to say no—no to being touched, no to being looked at, no to being followed, filmed, judged, or cornered?
Are they protecting the right to be safe without needing to put on a show of panic, bruises, or blood to “prove” they’re worthy?
Because if they are not—
If their protection is conditional,
If their protection is based on who the man is or asserts that he is,
Or whether the woman is liked,
Or if she complied, labored enough,
Or if she was nice enough,
Or what she was wearing,
Or what her politics are,
Or if she’s saying it “the right way”—
Then they are not protecting women and girls.
They are protecting a system that has always harmed us.
And here’s what makes it worse:
It’s familiar.
Familiar to the girls and women who grew up inside abusive homes, schools, churches, movements, political parties, or other communities.
Because in an abusive environment?
You must negotiate just to be left alone.
You must give to get.
You must submit to survive.
You must shrink so you don’t trigger punishment.
And unless—and until—you do?
You pay. Dearly.
With your freedom.
With your dignity.
With your childhood.
With your health.
With your voice.
This is the setup that women who are trafficked know too well.
It’s not always chains.
Sometimes it’s just the same message on repeat:
“Convince me you deserve safety. Perform for it. Beg for it. Maybe I’ll consider it.”
And now?
That sick bargain is being dragged into the public.
Into courtrooms.
Into shelters.
Into schools.
Into our daughters’ lives.
We’ve moved from private manipulation to public policies that demand girls prove their worth to be protected at all.
Some folks say, “I support women.”
But what they mean is:
“I support women when it’s easy.”
“I support women when no man has to be held accountable.”
“I support women as long as it doesn’t cost me anything.”
That’s not protection.
That’s performance.
Protection is not passive. Protection requires action. Sacrifice. Risk. Clarity. Line-drawing.
And if someone is only protecting women and girls on a case-by-case basis—
that’s not protection. That’s control.
🌿 At WeSurviveAbuse.com, we are no longer impressed by who posts the right things.
We look at who protects.
We watch who moves when it’s inconvenient.
We remember who was quiet when it mattered.
We do not forget who left girls unguarded because they were afraid to tell a man no.
🗣️ Ask yourself today: Who are the people in your life protecting?
And more importantly: Who are you protecting?
Politicians Must Stop Dismissing Us: Women’s Safety is Non-Negotiable
When Women’s Values Are Tested: The Fight to Protect What’s Sacred
