When Chaos Is a Weapon: How Some Partners Use Crisis to Control You
And why you’re not “mean” for wanting peace It starts with a bad decision. Maybe a DUI.Maybe losing another job.Maybe a fight with the [...]
6 Ways Asking for Help Enriches Your Life
I realize that in our society, it is almost fashionable to come down on someone in need. Unfortunately, this keeps millions upon milli [...]
10 Future Faking Abuse Statements Survivors Should Recognize and Trust Their Gut About
10 Future Faking Abuse Statements
“I’m going to get help—just give me a little more time.”Used to delay accountability and stop the Survivor [...]
RECANT: She Just Wanted Her Life Back
There is a lot going on in the world. But the pain of sexual violence, and the complicated aftermath that follows, never hits “pause.” It doesn’t wa [...]
🤲🏽 What Is Self-Trust? (And Why Is It So Hard After Abuse?)
Self-trust is the sacred belief that your own voice is worth listening to.It’s the quiet knowing inside that says: “I believe myself. I can rely [...]
They Can’t Always Find the Right Words. But They Still Deserve to Be Heard.
Sometimes Survivors speak in whispers.Sometimes in long pauses, in shaking hands, in misplaced laughter.Sometimes… not at all.
But let me tell you so [...]
9 Dangerous Myths About Violence Against Women and Children
Violence against women and children is a pervasive issue, often perpetuated by misconceptions that downplay its severity and prevalence. Recognizing [...]
Why Must We Carry Everyone? The Heavy Expectation Placed on Black Women’s Healing
She wasn’t just expected to heal. She was expected to heal everyone around her too—without flinching, without resting, without breaking.” Why i [...]
🎤💰 Money, Respect & the Woman’s Mic: Black Women’s Songs About Money, Power, and Respect
updated from April 2025
"We're supposed to pretend that if we are "good girls," a "good man" will find us and give us everything that we want. [...]
🎭 The Enforcer in the Room: When Women Police Other Women for Abusers
"I will give you something to cry out about"
There is something few people want to talk about—but every Survivor knows it.
In systems of abuse and e [...]
Mahogany: Beyond Fashion, a Lesson in Power and Abuse 💔
Mahogany is often celebrated for its style—but the film also quietly shows obsession, control, and emotional abuse.
But beneath that glossy surface [...]
Inclusion Should Never Cost Girls Their Safety
April is child abuse awareness month.
When politicians twist the language of “inclusion” to force girls to surrender their safe spaces, they are no [...]
Privacy Is Not Prejudice. It’s Protection.
Somewhere along the way, somebody got bold enough to say it out loud:"That makes me uncomfortable."
She said it gently at first.A whisper in the lock [...]
🚧 9 Signs You’re Dealing with a Stonewaller
And Why That’s Not Your Fault[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Stonewalling is one of the most soul-draining tactics used in abusive relationships. It’s when so [...]
The Overlooked History of Black Disabled Lives: Survival, Misunderstanding, and Strength
As a Black woman who has struggled with a health condition that is limiting, and has worked in the professional serving capacity for people with disab [...]
Some of Us Can’t Pretend Institutions Are Harmless
It’s a strange kind of exhaustion—working beside women who understand abuse in private relationships, yet act confused when the same dyn [...]
When Disability and Blackness Meet: Over 25 Times When Grace Was Denied To Disabled Black People
There is a quiet cruelty that rarely gets named plainly. It lives in the space where Blackness and disability intersect. It shows up not only in drama [...]
“They’ll Be Raped Anyway” Is Not a Strategy—It’s Cowardly a Surrender
Some people are not "foxhole" people. They surrender mid-battle.
You say,“Well, women will be raped anyway…”as if that justifies handing predators [...]
What to Say to the Inner Voice That Still Blames You
(And Why That Voice Isn’t the Truth)
You’ve left the relationship.You’ve named what happened. Maybe you’ve even started to heal.But some days… the [...]
Male Predators Are Male: Why Language Matters for Survivor Justice
He raped her with his maleness, and now that he is in court (that in itself is a miracle because very few rapists are ever prosecuted), no one can ack [...]
Perpetrator Fragility: When He Fears Exposure More Than Reflection
Perpetrator fragility is a concept used to describe how individuals—most often abusers or those in power—respond with defensiveness, victim-playing, o [...]
Red Flag #1: If They Won’t Let You Have Privacy, They Don’t See You as Human
When Privacy Is Forbidden—It’s a Deadly Warning
Some people believe that their partners, children, or family members do not deserve privacy. That bel [...]
No One is Like Us. Women Fight Differently
Women fight differently.
When the Taliban ordered Afghan women not to sing,they sang anyway.Soft, loud, hidden, public — they sang their existence [...]
💔 When Sisterhood Is a Silencer: Spotting the Wounds Behind the Smile
Some women walk with us in sisterhood—but not in solidarity.
They speak our language. Quote the affirmations. Light the candles. Clap at the empowerm [...]
Black Women Are Not the Mules of the World—Not Then, Not Now, Not Ever
Black women said "no" and the burning crosses came out in force. Social media was lit up! Holding the torches were males of all 'identities'. Who ev [...]
You’re Not Her Judge. You’re Not Even Helpful.
🖤 WeSurviveAbuse.com
The internet is full of people who think that offering opinions on a Survivor’s choices is the same as offering help.It’s not. [...]
Sex-Based Social Control Is Not About Beauty. It’s About Access to Humanity.
Let’s talk about one of the most sinister tactics in the game:Sex-Based Social Control.
On the surface, it may look like beauty standards, pr [...]
5 traits women who don’t have friends share (featuring video by Tiffany Monday)
You'd be amazed how many people get themselves through recovery and/or parts of healing and abuse...... Why do some women have no friends, and what [...]
Weaponized Witnessing: When They Watch You Fall, But Never Help You Rise
There’s a kind of watching that doesn’t come from love.A kind of watching that waits for you to stumble—not to catch you,but to collect the footage. [...]
Healing Hurts—and It Hurts for a Long Time
Everyone wants to talk about healing like it’s a tidy process.A quick fix.A checklist.A makeover.
But here’s the truth Survivors know too well: [...]
12 Reasons Black Women Have Always Needed Womanism and Feminism
It is so concerning that people who live within community with Black women don't really see or hear us beyond their need for us.
There is a dange [...]
The “Dying Alone” Myth: A Fear Tactic to Control Women
One of the most persistent, tired myths used to scare women into compliance is the idea that if we follow feminism, womanism, or choose to remain un [...]