When “I Am” Becomes a Demand
“I am…”Two of the most powerful words a person can speak.
In the right hands, they build identity.They anchor us in truth.They tell the world who we’ [...]
The Truth About External Validation: What It Builds, It Can Destroy
The Queen is the most powerful piece on the chess board.
We all need connection. We all need recognition. But when external validation becomes the [...]
Love Doesn’t Mean Lying: I Can Respect You and Still Speak the Truth
If you think I have to choose between truth and respect,You underestimate the power of both.
See, real love doesn't demand silence.Real respect doesn [...]
“They’ll Be Raped Anyway” Is Not a Strategy—It’s Cowardly a Surrender
Some people are not "foxhole" people. They surrender mid-battle.
You say,“Well, women will be raped anyway…”as if that justifies handing predators [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order [...]
The Benefit of Anger for Survivors: A Fire That Heals
For too long, Survivors have been told to suppress their anger. “Be the bigger person.” “Let it go.” “Forgive and move on.” Society is comfortable w [...]
Healing Hurts—and It Hurts for a Long Time
Everyone wants to talk about healing like it’s a tidy process.A quick fix.A checklist.A makeover.
But here’s the truth Survivors know too well: [...]
💔 When the Weight Is More Than Weight: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Body Size
I know. This is sensitive territory. This is my battle too.
As a Survivor, I know how heartless, cruel, and unkind people can be to those [...]
Lessons from Survivor Jenifer Lewis on Overcoming Shame (videos)
As incredibly talented as she is, Jenifer Lewis is also a teacher! She is a teacher to all who struggle with mental illness, racism, sexism, and ab [...]
24 More Phrases People Use to Try to Silence Survivors of Sexual Violence
Updated on 4/11/22 from 7/14/2016I now know why my Granny, Grandma Monroe, Aunt, and Mama encouraged me to get quiet when a storm rolled in. &nbs [...]
Naming is Healing. Naming is Legacy
There is power in a name.
When you name an experience, you call it out of the shadows.When you name an injustice, you make it undeniable.When you nam [...]
To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse
Back in 2016 this post was inspired when a very famous celebrity publicly blamed how young girls dress for males in schools being sexually tempt [...]
Calling Out the Undermining of Women and Children’s Rights
"We are living in times so strange that truth sounds like conspiracy, and kindness feels like rebellion."— Unknown Jonah Wheeler has been lec [...]
🌙 Future Faking: When Promises Become a Trap
Let’s talk about something a lot of Survivors don’t even know has a name—but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
It’s called future faking.And it’ [...]
Dr. Tracey Marks: Why Self-Love Has Nothing to Do with Confidence
Chapters 0:00 – Caring relationships that still feel distant 0:18 – Why this isn’t a mindset or self-esteem problem 0:31 – The self-love circuit and n [...]
What Is Strength (For a Survivor)?
They told us strength meant being hard.Tough. Silent. Unshakable.They told us it meant never falling apart.Never crying.Never walking away.Never say [...]
🔥 When They Take It All Back: Why Some Survivors Recant
Updated for WeSurviveAbuse.com, 2025
Let’s return to this uncomfortable truth: when victims of sexual violence recant, it is often not because th [...]
🔥 Black Women Didn’t Just Get Here—We Dragged Ourselves Through Fire to Arrive
You may have heard it said:“Black women are the most educated group in America.”
And while that phrase is often used to uplift and celebrate, it dese [...]
Gaslighting on a National Scale: Why Treating Black Women Like a Burden Is Abuse, Not Oversight
Don’t Call It a Favor
The nerve—the absolute gall—to act like you're doing us a favor by ending discrimination.
By “allowing” Black people, especial [...]
Why Women’s Rights Vary by State—and Men’s Don’t: A Breakdown of Legal Inequality in America
Do you see all this debate over "women's spaces" and NONE over men's spaces?
There’s a line from a 1976 film that still echoes today: “I [...]
For Some People, Staying Grounded in Reality Is a Daily Act of Strength
For Some People, Staying Grounded in Reality Is a Daily Act of Strength For many people, “reality” is something the mind holds effortlessly. Bu [...]
5 Things You Should Know About the History of “Gender”
For many of us, the word gender feels like it has always existed in the way we use it today. But the truth is, the meaning of gender has changed over [...]
When Niceness Becomes a Trap: Why Women Deserve the Bottom Line, Not Confusion
Women are often encouraged to be kind, accommodating, flexible, and understanding — even when our safety is at stake. We are told to “be nice.” We are [...]
When They Say Speaking About Racism is the Problem: The Same Old Victim-Blaming Playbook
There is a pattern.
A Survivor of abuse speaks up, and the world responds: "Why now?"
"You’re just being divisive."
"Talking about it [...]
We Are Not Meant to Disappear Inside Someone Else’s Reflection
There is a quiet war being waged on selfhood.A thousand little whispers telling women—and especially Black women, Indigenous women, and other [...]
Mahogany: Beyond Fashion, a Lesson in Power and Abuse 💔
Mahogany is often celebrated for its style—but the film also quietly shows obsession, control, and emotional abuse.
But beneath that glossy surface [...]
How Abusers and Systems Use “You Have It Good” to Normalize Deprivation
Gratitude is something I practice as a core part of my healing.
But all good things can be misused.
This is not a call for gratitude.
This is contr [...]
RECANT: She Just Wanted Her Life Back
There is a lot going on in the world. But the pain of sexual violence, and the complicated aftermath that follows, never hits “pause.” It doesn’t wa [...]
🛑 Tokenism Is Not Liberation: Why Hate Groups Tokenize Black Women
Some groups want our rhythm, our language, our beauty—but not our justice.
They say they care about Black women.
They post our photos.Quote our hero [...]
9 Reasons Survivors Build Their Own Healing Spaces (and Why That’s Sacred, Not Segregated)
People ask: “Why do you need your own healing space?” The answer is layered. Personal. Collective. Sacred.
Here’s why so many of us—especia [...]
How People Prompt or Lure Women to Prove Their Worth
"Why doesn't she leave? Why did she go back?"
We don't spend a lot of time examining what makes women doubt themselves. I look forward to the days [...]