To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse
Back in 2016 this post was inspired when a very famous celebrity publicly blamed how young girls dress for males in schools being sexually tempt [...]
Calling Out the Undermining of Women and Children’s Rights
"We are living in times so strange that truth sounds like conspiracy, and kindness feels like rebellion."— UnknownJonah Wheeler has been lec [...]
You Can’t Reason With People Who See Facts as a Personal Attack
One of life’s hardest lessons is this: you cannot reason with people who treat facts and reality as a personal attack. No matter how carefully you exp [...]
Some Truths We’re Not Supposed to Say Out Loud- But We Will
We see you.Not with malice.Not with envy.But with ancient knowing.
We know when something in the milk ain't cleanWe know when a movement carries rot [...]
We Are Not the World’s Dumping Ground: The Sacred Art of Refusing Misplaced Blame
Black women, how much of the world’s weight have you carried today?
How many wounds have you stitched up that weren’t yours? How many fires have yo [...]
Black Women Are Not the Mules of the World—Not Then, Not Now, Not Ever
Black women said "no" and the burning crosses came out in force. Social media was lit up! Holding the torches were males of all 'identities'. Who ev [...]
Love Doesn’t Mean Lying: I Can Respect You and Still Speak the Truth
If you think I have to choose between truth and respect,You underestimate the power of both.
See, real love doesn't demand silence.Real respect doesn [...]
Victim-Blaming Is Enabling Abuse
Let’s name it plain:Victim-blaming doesn’t protect anyone. It protects abusers.
When people say:
“Why didn’t she just leave?”
“She mu [...]
Don’t Be Tricked Into Serving What Would Never Save You
Avoid letting any man—no matter how soft his tone, poetic his struggle, or urgent his cause—trick you into laboring for him, defending him, uplifting [...]
🔥 When They Take It All Back: Why Some Survivors Recant
Updated for WeSurviveAbuse.com, 2025
Let’s return to this uncomfortable truth: when victims of sexual violence recant, it is often not because th [...]
The Cost of Lying for Men: What Happens When Women Are Expected to “Protect Feelings” Instead of Tell the Truth
We’ve all seen it. Felt it. Been told to do it.
"Don't embarrass him."
"He's under a lot of stress.""Don’t ruin his life."
"It costs nothing to b [...]
You Weren’t Difficult. You Were Just Finally Done Pretending It Didn’t Hurt
They called you difficult.Unreasonable.Too sensitive.Hard to love.
But what they really meant was:You stopped making it easy for them to mistreat y [...]
The Truth About External Validation: What It Builds, It Can Destroy
The Queen is the most powerful piece on the chess board.
We all need connection. We all need recognition. But when external validation becomes the [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, “Now’s not the time.”They say, “It’s not that serious.”They say, “Be the bigger person.”They say, “Other people have it worse.”
And just li [...]
Weaponized Empathy Is Not Solidarity. It’s Coercion.
Let’s be real. There is a difference between asking someone to care and asking someone to give themselves away.
What we are seeing—too often, and too [...]
Some of Us Can’t Pretend Institutions Are Harmless
It’s a strange kind of exhaustion—working beside women who understand abuse in private relationships, yet act confused when the same dyn [...]
When Childhood Triggers Resurface: Healing Before It Becomes Harm
You Do Not Have to Pass on Pain
If you find yourself feeling anger rise around children—if you feel the urge to control, dominate, or humiliate—it is [...]
We Can Tell What Team You’re On
If you're not an advocate for giving violent, manipulative, deceptive, abusive males more rights and protections—Then you need to say that.And sound l [...]
How to Support Lesbian Friends in Abusive Relationships
As an advocate, you become familiar with the careful way that a woman tells you her story. She's testing your waters. Are you safe? Are you judgment [...]
24 More Phrases People Use to Try to Silence Survivors of Sexual Violence
Updated on 4/11/22 from 7/14/2016I now know why my Granny, Grandma Monroe, Aunt, and Mama encouraged me to get quiet when a storm rolled in. &nbs [...]
Naming is Healing. Naming is Legacy
There is power in a name.
When you name an experience, you call it out of the shadows.When you name an injustice, you make it undeniable.When you nam [...]
When Belonging Breaks: Surviving in Truth When Cultures Defends Abusers
I get when some groups defend some aspects of abusers. I've slipped (more than once) and done it too. I'm a human.I still have a duty to push bac [...]
🌿 What Is Healing?
I'm a plant Mom again. I didn't realize I was sensitive about it until I sent one of my relatives pictures of my plants.She didn't say anythin [...]
💣 Beauty as a Battlefield: When We Compete, They Win
Let’s tell the truth:This world wants women to be at war with each other.
Not over justice.Not over safety.But over aesthetics.
It’s no accident t [...]
Unloving the People We’re Told to Never Give Up On
“But That’s Your Family…”
There’s a sacred pain that often goes unnamed.The kind of pain that comes from realizing that someone you are related to [...]
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Unhealthy Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion
Unhealthy Self Esteem vs Self Compassion by Tonya GJ PrinceWhy Self-Compassion is More Important than Self-Esteem elink.i [...]
Why Abuse Leaves You with Chronic Self-Doubt
And Why That Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken
There’s something few people talk about after abuse ends:The way self-doubt clings to you like a second ski [...]
Red Flag #1: If They Won’t Let You Have Privacy, They Don’t See You as Human
When Privacy Is Forbidden—It’s a Deadly Warning
Some people believe that their partners, children, or family members do not deserve privacy. That bel [...]
Safety Is Power. Access Is a Privilege.
People are always telling us about the habits of powerful people. Well, one thing that powerful people do is maintain strict boundaries. The average [...]
11 Ways to Maintain Your Cool When Life Has No Chill
originally published 12/22/16Circa 1980 something, New JerseyMy mother: "So, if everybody else goes crazy does that you mean you go crazy too?"Me:.... [...]
You’re Not Her Judge. You’re Not Even Helpful.
🖤 WeSurviveAbuse.com
The internet is full of people who think that offering opinions on a Survivor’s choices is the same as offering help.It’s not. [...]