The Harrowing Murder of Olivia Jones | Killers Caught On Camera
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRKZ9tddZrk&t=87s The surveillance cameras that he posted in the home helped to convict him of her murder. They [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order [...]
Why Doesn’t She Leave? Because Leaving Costs Money
Why doesn’t she leave? Because leaving costs money. She needs first and last month’s rent just to secure a place, plus moving expenses—a truck, de [...]
🚨 Pregnancy Shouldn’t Be a Death Sentence
Let’s tell the truth—pregnancy should never be a death sentence.
But in the United States, the leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum w [...]
When Women Excuse Violence, Everyone Pays: The High Cost of Ignoring Abuse
In politics, too many women of privilege in America give violent men a pass.
They vote for them.
They praise them.
They scold other women for not l [...]
Being Protective Is Good: Why You Don’t Have to Choose Between Kindness and Boundaries
In today’s world—especially in progressive spaces—many women are made to feel that if they truly care about human rights, they must stay quiet about t [...]
They Can’t Always Find the Right Words. But They Still Deserve to Be Heard.
Sometimes Survivors speak in whispers.Sometimes in long pauses, in shaking hands, in misplaced laughter.Sometimes… not at all.
But let me tell you so [...]
We Don’t Police Each Other—We Challenge Power
Power.That’s the word they fear most when it rises in a Black woman’s mouth.
Our liberation will never be foundin tearing down each other’s choices.N [...]
✅ Moral Gaslighting: When Women Asking for Safety Are Treated Like the Problem
What is moral gaslighting?
Moral gaslighting happens when women speak up for their own safety, and instead of being heard, they are shamed, discredit [...]
A Woman-Centered Truth About FGM We Cannot Abandon (w/list of resource organizations)
FGM victims’ fury as academics compare practice to cosmetic surgery Any honest critique of global efforts to address female genital mutil [...]
We Are Not Meant to Disappear Inside Someone Else’s Reflection
There is a quiet war being waged on selfhood.A thousand little whispers telling women—and especially Black women, Indigenous women, and other [...]
When Words Are Used to Control You: Everyday Red Flags People Miss
✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
Not all control looks like yelling, threats, or bruises.Sometimes, it shows up in the words you're allowed to use—or forbidde [...]
Male Predators Are Male: Why Language Matters for Survivor Justice
He raped her with his maleness, and now that he is in court (that in itself is a miracle because very few rapists are ever prosecuted), no one can ack [...]
When the Gate Swings Open: The Floodgate Effect and the Harm That Follows
Some harms don’t happen in isolation.
They happen because someone was let in who shouldn’t have been.And then, no one shut the door behind them.
In [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
“Why Are Women Still Told to Have Faith in Men Who ‘Rebrand’ Themselves?”
“If his change requires your suffering to prove it, it isn’t change — it’s another performance.”
— WeSurviveAbuse.com
Somehow, we allowed ourselve [...]
The Healing Isn’t in the Headlines. It’s in the Listening
There is a rhythm that the media loves:Shock. Outrage. Silence.A Survivor comes forward.The story catches fire.It lands in headlines, hashtags, and tr [...]
Prevent it-Trauma is Traumatizing.
This poster could not be more correct. You do not do this work without encountering people who do not recover. Some are in prison. Some are in b [...]
Collusion Without Conversation: The Code of Abuse
They’ve never met.
Different backgrounds.Different languages.Different cultures.Different religions.Some in suits, some in uniforms, some behind pulp [...]
When Stalking Isn’t Just “Annoying” — It’s a Real Threat to Girls and Women
INVESTIGATIVE: One stalking victim's mother speaks after man kills woman, sets himself on fire
Stalking is often dismissed as “harassment” or brushed [...]
When “Nothing Will Happen” Isn’t a Safety Plan: Asking About Real Safeguards
“If your confidence turns out to be misplaced, what protections exist for the people expected to absorb the consequences?” When certainty replaces [...]
My Partner Suddenly Changed His Beliefs or Lifestyle and Now Demands That I Change Too. Is That Normal?”
Here's the thing. “Real transformation invites partnership, not submission. True faith doesn’t need a cage—it needs room to breathe.” This is a pat [...]
We Don’t Close Doors Around Here: When Women’s Privacy Becomes Negotiable, Women Are in Danger (w/affirmations)
Living in the West is not what makes a woman safe. Privacy is not modesty theater. It is part of bodily safety. It is shield. We do not give th [...]
Ignored Crimes Become Generational Crises: A Tale As Old As Time
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.-Maya Angelou From the very first pages [...]
Dear Survivors: When the Truth Is Released Slowly, It Can Be Conditioning — Here’s How We Resist
"I'm so tired of waiting, aren't you, for the world to become good and beautiful and kind?" -- Langston Hughes
Many of you are sensing some [...]
When Movements Mimic Religious Shunning: Why Silencing Dissent Won’t Build a Just World
Some of today’s loudest movements say they’re about justice, liberation, and community.
But too often, when someone disagrees—or simply asks a ques [...]
A Mother Daughter Team Teaching Lessons on Teen Dating Violence: Carolyn Mosely and Ortralla Mosely (Resting in Power)
updated from 2/5/25
I exchanged emails with this mother, Carolyn Mosley, many years ago.
I don't think I will ever forget she and her d [...]
You Don’t Have to Stay Where You’re Not Safe
Some of us are trying to bloom in gardens that were never planted for us.
We show up with our hands full—bandages, truth-telling, receipts, prayers, [...]
Violence Against Women Always Looks for an Inside Woman
Like most acts of violence against women,invasion of boundaries doesn’t just show up with brute force.It counts on betrayal.It counts on a hand extend [...]
13 Things Black Men Could Be Using Their Mics to Talk About
updated from November 25, 2025 Staying informed is an act of power. Because once you see how the system works, you stop begging for fairness and [...]
Male Violence Against Women: Youth Is Not a Shield
Young people must not fall for the lie that only older women protect abusers.
The truth is, younger women—especially young Black women—are at the hi [...]
Inclusion Should Never Cost Girls Their Safety
April is child abuse awareness month.
When politicians twist the language of “inclusion” to force girls to surrender their safe spaces, they are no [...]
Why Truth Is What Finally Sets Survivors Free After Abuse
Truth is still in the business of setting people free. People often misunderstand what happens when a woman calls a domestic violence hotline [...]
✨ When Male Gentleness Is Assumed: Expanding Our Ears, Expanding Our Understanding
updated from December 11 2025
Myth: Straight men are the only danger to women.
**Shayla told me about the male relative she grew up with who was a d [...]
Perpetrator Fragility: When He Fears Exposure More Than Reflection
Perpetrator fragility is a concept used to describe how individuals—most often abusers or those in power—respond with defensiveness, victim-playing, o [...]
Some Truths We’re Not Supposed to Say Out Loud- But We Will
We see you.Not with malice.Not with envy.But with ancient knowing.
We know when something in the milk ain't cleanWe know when a movement carries rot [...]
“Is It Toxic or Is It Abuse?” — When You’re Trying to Name What’s Happening
She sat in her parked car for 32 minutes before going inside.
She wasn't avoiding anyone—he wasn't even home.
She just… didn’t want to walk into her [...]
I Disagree with a Lot of Women—That’s Life. But Misogyny? That’s Where You Lose Me.
Let’s get something straight:
I disagree with a lot of women.
Philosophically. Politically. Spiritually.
That’s life. That's family. That's culture [...]
Emmett Till: The Sacred & Innocent Can’t Coexist with Predators
We are in justified rage mode, and we are not backing down. You are playing with the sacred memory of children now.
These quiet shadows are not yo [...]
Why Are Women Told to Stay Calm About Things That Should Horrify Everyone?
When women, girls, and children talk about boundaries, it’s not hate speaking. It’s concern. It’s exhaustion. It’s survival language. Too often, th [...]
We Called It Rape Culture for a Reason. And That Reason Still Exists
There was a time when we named things clearly.
We called it rape culture.
Not to be provocative. Not to shock. Not to divide.
But to survive.
We u [...]
When Words and Actions Don’t Match: Why Women Must Trust What People Do, Not Just What They Say
For years now, a message has echoed across schools, workplaces, and social media campaigns:
Be kind.Be nicer.Be more understanding.Be m [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, “Now’s not the time.”They say, “It’s not that serious.”They say, “Be the bigger person.”They say, “Other people have it worse.”
And just li [...]
🪞When Her Mirror Is a Mask: The Women Who Reflect Us—But Don’t Stand With Us
Not every woman who looks like she’s with you is for you.
Some women mirror your words, your struggles, your fire for truth—but deep down, they are w [...]
✋🏽 When Accountability Feels Like an Attack to Him
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Some men don’t fear the harm they cause.They fear the moment a woman finally says,“You will not harm me anymore.”
This is perpe [...]
Black Pride Is Not a Mask for Violence
We talk a lot about Black pride.We wear it.We speak it.We teach it to our children—so they walk with their heads high in a world that too often trie [...]
You Don’t Find Your People By What They Post—You Find Them By What They Protect
"I don’t want to hear you say, 'Honey, I’m behind you.' Well, move, I don’t want you back there because you could be 200 miles behind. I want you to [...]
🛑 You Can’t Build Something Sacred on Disrespect
Let’s speak truth—because Survivors on healthy authentic healing journeys know this better than anyone:
You cannot build healthy relationships with p [...]
Stay Woke: When a Warning is Turned to a Punchline
Watching language warning about life or death flatten into a "trend".... is frustrating. “‘Stay woke’ began as a warning, not a trend. Thi [...]
🚩 Red Flags: When “Allies” Are Really Just Bullies
In advocacy, passion often draws people in—it can light up a room, stir emotions, and rally attention. But not every loud voice is a trustworthy one. [...]
Selective Advocacy Syndrome: When They Show Up for Ego, Not Justice
They say they care about equality.They say they believe in fairness.They say they’re here for liberation.
But watch when they speak up—and who they [...]
If He Will Strangle You, He May Kill You
There are few acts more dangerous, more intimate, and more predictive of future lethal violence than this one:Strangulation.
Let’s stop minimizing [...]
🌙 Future Faking: When Promises Become a Trap
Let’s talk about something a lot of Survivors don’t even know has a name—but once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
It’s called future faking.And it’ [...]
🛑 Women’s Safety Is Not Up for Debate: On Pressure, Autonomy, and Male Violence
We know that society still expects women to protect men’s reputations—
especially when those men are climbing the ladder of power.
Even if preservi [...]
Aesthetic Gatekeeping: You Are Not Here for Their Approval Ratings
Let’s talk about one of the oldest games in the patriarchy playbook—and baby, it’s still being played in 4K, HD, and every group chat:Aesthetic Gateke [...]
🛑 We don’t negotiate safety
⚖️ Some Things Are Black and White
Yes means safety.No means protection.
Clear, certain, unapologetic boundaries are not cruelty.They are care—espec [...]
🎯 Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understand—they're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
Don’t Share My Scars and Then Ask for My Help.
Let’s talk about something that happens all too often—especially to women, especially to Survivors.
Someone insults us.Mocks us.Lies about us.Disre [...]
When Older Women Are Told to Give Until It Hurts
The internet will have you believe something very simple and very cruel, and in my view, is rooted in misogyny: If younger people cut you off, it m [...]
Where Coercion Is the Law, Truth Cannot Live
Where coercion is the law, truth cannot live.
When the rules are written to force silence,to demand submission,to prioritize appearances over reali [...]
When Chaos Is a Weapon: How Some Partners Use Crisis to Control You
And why you’re not “mean” for wanting peace It starts with a bad decision. Maybe a DUI.Maybe losing another job.Maybe a fight with the [...]
What Is DARVO? How It Harms Black Women and Black Girls
DARVO is a pattern some harmful people use when they are confronted.
It stands for:
DenyThey deny what happened.
AttackThey attack the person who s [...]
30 Signs of a Dangerous Person: How to Protect Yourself from Manipulators & Predators
Unsafe people don’t always reveal their true nature immediately. They test boundaries, manipulate emotions, and gain trust before showing their worst [...]
Grief That Echoes: Honoring the Women Amiri Baraka Lost to Violence
There are wounds that don’t stop bleeding just because the headlines fade.There are names that deserve to be spoken with reverence—not only in trage [...]
Predators Are Not Always Charismatic—Don’t Be Fooled by the Stereotype
Many people have a picture in their minds of what a predator looks like: charming, confident, manipulative, always in control. But let’s be clear—pred [...]
⚡ Trust Yourself — Without Apology
“They may call you hateful. But what they won’t call you is gone — because you trusted yourself.”
Ignore the noise of people who do not know better. [...]
Weaponized Moralism: The Silence That Screams
They call it compassion.But only when it protects male access.
They call it justice.But only when women are asked to surrender boundaries.
They call [...]
✊🏾 When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
“When a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers — her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; it’s fr [...]
Why Survivors of Abuse Can’t Afford to Choose Political Candidates Like Party Entertainment (And the 15 Things That Actually Matter)
Most women, even if they are in a soft season now, do not have the luxury of choosing leaders like a child chooses entertainment for a birthday party. [...]
❓ FAQ: Why Is It Sexist to Dismiss Women’s Boundaries and Need for Safety?
Q: Is it really sexist to question or challenge women-only spaces?
A: Yes. Dismissing, undermining, or demanding access to women-only spaces—especial [...]
❌ If You Can’t Speak Your Truth Without Losing Love, You’re Not in a Relationship—You’re Under Rule
There are relationships that look like love on the outside.They may even feel like love—sometimes.
But if your ability to tell the truth threatens [...]
The Gish Gallop: When Overload Becomes a Weapon Against Survivors
There’s a tactic that shows up in debates, politics, in online videos, and—far too often—in the lives of Survivors. It’s called the Gish Gallop.
The [...]
10 Signs You’re Being Dehumanized—Even by People Who Say They Support You
This is a crucial question—because recognizing when you are being dehumanized is often the first step in reclaiming dignity, power, and bounda [...]
When Niceness Becomes a Trap: Why Women Deserve the Bottom Line, Not Confusion
Women are often encouraged to be kind, accommodating, flexible, and understanding — even when our safety is at stake. We are told to “be nice.” We are [...]
When Chaos Becomes Normal: Relearning the Language of Calm and Boundaries
Some of us grew up learning to breathe in the middle of storms.
We learned to sleep through shouting, to laugh through danger, to keep functioning th [...]