They Know What They’re Doing: Why Abusers Target Neurodivergent People—Especially in Love
Let’s talk about something that far too often stays in the shadows:
Abusers know what they’re doing.And many of them actively seek out people they [...]
Weaponized Witnessing: When They Watch You Fall, But Never Help You Rise
There’s a kind of watching that doesn’t come from love.A kind of watching that waits for you to stumble—not to catch you,but to collect the footage. [...]
“The Jennifer Melle Case: When Women’s Safety Loses to Male Protection — Even for a Convicted Child Predator”
Nurse Jennifer Melle was doing what few people would want to do: providing care — intimate, necessary, and skillful care — to a male prisoner convicte [...]
The 5 Motivations of a Victim Shamer
A call-in to those ready to grow past it.
We don’t arrive in this world knowing how to shame Survivors.It is something we are taught.It is something [...]
🌿 The Truth About Hate Groups & Their Harm to Women and Children
I speak the truth, even when it shakes the room.
My refusal to accept harm is not hatred. It is sacred love.
We often think of hate groups as someth [...]
Gaslighting with a Grin: What Covert Bullying Really Looks Like
What Is Covert Bullying?
The Abuse You Can’t Always See
Not all bullying looks like yelling, pushing, or name-calling.Some of the most damaging harm [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, “Now’s not the time.”They say, “It’s not that serious.”They say, “Be the bigger person.”They say, “Other people have it worse.”
And just li [...]
📍 Across Borders, Beneath Systems: The Global Face of Sex-Based Oppression
Sex-based oppression is not confined to a single culture, continent, or community. It is a global reality—a multi-layered system of inequality roote [...]
✅ Moral Gaslighting: When Women Asking for Safety Are Treated Like the Problem
What is moral gaslighting?
Moral gaslighting happens when women speak up for their own safety, and instead of being heard, they are shamed, discredit [...]
🛑 We don’t negotiate safety
⚖️ Some Things Are Black and White
Yes means safety.No means protection.
Clear, certain, unapologetic boundaries are not cruelty.They are care—espec [...]
How to Fight Social Narcissism: What Racism and Relationship Narcissism Have in Common
Some patterns are so familiar that our bodies recognize them before our mouths can explain them. A room gets quiet. A person says, “That never happene [...]
“She Went Off”: Why Women Are Expected to Stay Calm While Being Violated
Every time a woman raises her voice about a violation, someone appears — online, in the comments, in the community — to say:
“She went off.”“She over [...]
✨ When Male Gentleness Is Assumed: Expanding Our Ears, Expanding Our Understanding
updated from December 11 2025
Myth: Straight men are the only danger to women.
**Shayla told me about the male relative she grew up with who was a d [...]
Courtney Stodden’s Lifetime Movie Exposes the Public Grooming of a Child Bride—and the Cruelty of Celebrity Culture
I wasn't deeply familiar with this young woman prior to watching the Lifetime movie. I'm a bit out of her target age range. But being a teenager and t [...]
“She Wasn’t Told He Killed Before: The Tragic Workplace Murder of Kerri Harris and the Warning Signs We Can’t Ignore”
Women are significantly more likely to be victims of stalking.
Approximately 1 in 3 women have experienced stalking at some point in thei [...]
When Someone Refuses to Leave You Alone: Understanding Forced Access
When Someone Refuses to Respect Distance
It's one thing to talk about the need for and importance of boundaries. We need to talk more about w [...]
Familiarity Doesn’t Make Stranger Abuse Irrelevant
There’s a manipulation tactic that keeps slipping into our public conversations—one that says: “Most people are abused by someone they know… so [...]
Black Women Do Not Ever Have to Sacrifice Safety to Prove Solidarity
And do not use Black people’s current struggle as a cloak for taking from women. Black women know both histories too well to be fooled by that. Bla [...]
American Greed: Inside The Episode with Jenifer Lewis | CNBC Prime
You can do everything right and still meet people whose only plan for you is deception, manipulation, and harm. I loved watching how Jenifer Lewis han [...]
Being Protective Is Good: Why You Don’t Have to Choose Between Kindness and Boundaries
In today’s world—especially in progressive spaces—many women are made to feel that if they truly care about human rights, they must stay quiet about t [...]
Red Flags: Why Am I Feeling Unseen Here? Clues Survivors Notice First.
To be clear: People are not going to always feel seen. This is a huge planet. We are specifically talking about spaces, and conversations around viole [...]
They Mock You, Then Expect You to Serve—The Trap Ends Now
May you never again fall into the trap of using your labor for an individual or group who calls your worth into question by...
Mocking your b [...]
Abuse Isn’t About Rage. It’s About Control.
👁️ See It Clearly Watch who people protect — and who they hurt.
Watch who they challenge — and who they stay silent around. Women.
Children.
[...]
When Words Are Used to Control You: Everyday Red Flags People Miss
✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
Not all control looks like yelling, threats, or bruises.Sometimes, it shows up in the words you're allowed to use—or forbidde [...]
✊🏾 When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
“When a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers — her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; it’s fr [...]
When a Woman Is Talking About Risk Are We Busy Handing Out Character References?
The women and children who society listens to the least, suffer the most intense, torturous, and excruciating harm.
There is a pattern that k [...]
We Called It Rape Culture for a Reason. And That Reason Still Exists
There was a time when we named things clearly.
We called it rape culture.
Not to be provocative. Not to shock. Not to divide.
But to survive.
We u [...]
🧱 “You Just Keep Complaining”: How Abusers Use This Phrase to Stonewall You
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
“You just keep complaining.”“You’re always bringing that up.”“You never let anything go.”
If you've ever heard these phrases [...]
Feminism Can No Longer Afford to Be Generalized
Feminism can no longer afford to live in generalizations.When it does, it leaves too much room for people to hide intent, to blur goals, to claim the [...]
When Technology Becomes a Weapon: What You Need to Know About Cyberstalking and Deepfake Abuse
People like to be casual about it, but cyberstalking is a crime. Cyberstalking looks like: Following you from platform to platform, even after [...]
What the Olympic Boxing Debate Really Reveals About Gender, Power & Responsibility
updated 2025
You know what truly angers and frustrates me about this Olympic boxing issue?
It’s not just the debate—it’s the pattern.
Whenever th [...]
Don’t Look Away: How Polite Fiction Becomes a Predator’s Shield
There is language that has been troubling my soul. As a Womanist historian, I know that misinformation is not just an error; it is a weapon use [...]
If the Silencing Isn’t for Women or Children… Then Who Is It For?
Silence is powerful.
It can be sacred. Healing. Necessary for rest, prayer, and wisdom.
But when silence is demanded—not chosen—when it’s forced upo [...]
I Wish You No Harm—But This Doesn’t Work for Me: The Truth About Women’s Boundaries
There is this strange, deeply embedded belief that in order for a woman or girl to be considered a "good person" she must sacrifice her safety for men [...]
Your Opinion Is Not Protection
🖤 WeSurviveAbuse.com
Let’s get something straight:
Your opinion about how she should’ve escaped, how fast she should’ve healed, how she should’ve ta [...]
Why Do Some Men Bash Good Men Rather Than Learning From Them?
Facts…why men rush to social media to bash Klay Thompson and Russell Wilson. pic.twitter.com/7O3U0642rm
— Fck_Yaya🎧✍️🏾 (@FckYaya) November 20, 20 [...]
When Niceness Becomes a Trap: Why Women Deserve the Bottom Line, Not Confusion
Women are often encouraged to be kind, accommodating, flexible, and understanding — even when our safety is at stake. We are told to “be nice.” We are [...]
12 Similarities Between Josephine Baker and Megan Thee Stallion
Make your own choices. Live your own life. But when women see patterns through other women's lives, our eyesight becomes so much [...]
When They Blame You for Asking, Then Blame You for Fixing It Yourself
The Trap in Toxic Relationships and Systems
"Fine. I will do it myself." Ancient Black women's proverb.
At first, she thought the pr [...]
The Culture That Questions Women Before It Stops Men
Femicide. We keep saying it. “We can’t bring her back, but justice was served.” We say it after the trial.
After the sentencing.
After [...]
Healing When Your Abuser Is Still Welcome at the Table
The betrayal no one wants to talk about—but every Survivor remembers. There’s a kind of betrayal that lives in the silence.In the sideways glan [...]
Every Woman Has the Right to Say ‘No Thanks
Since the dawn of time, women have been pushed, scolded, and lectured into bending their boundaries, reshaping their desires, and swallowing discomfor [...]
10 Signs You Can’t Reason With Someone
Reasonable conversations require honesty, humility, and respect. But sometimes, you run into people who treat reality like an enemy. They don’t want t [...]
Survivor Affirmations: Protecting MY Empathy, Protecting Me
People tend to treat Black women like our empathy is a faucet that you can turn on and off at will. When it doesn't work they actually complain like [...]
Until This Country Reckons with How It Treats Black People, It Will Never Heal Its Violence
Until this country reckons with how it treats Black people—how its systems treat Black people—how it still treats Black women carrying chronic illness [...]
Why Body Safety for Black Women Must Include Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Reproductive Justice: Honoring Adriana Smith
When we talk about Adriana Smith, especially online, we must remember: people around the world are entering this conversation from vastly different [...]
10 Signs You’re Being Dehumanized—Even by People Who Say They Support You
This is a crucial question—because recognizing when you are being dehumanized is often the first step in reclaiming dignity, power, and bounda [...]
“Why Are Women Still Told to Have Faith in Men Who ‘Rebrand’ Themselves?”
“If his change requires your suffering to prove it, it isn’t change — it’s another performance.”
— WeSurviveAbuse.com
Somehow, we allowed ourselve [...]
The Cost of Lying for Men: What Happens When Women Are Expected to “Protect Feelings” Instead of Tell the Truth
We’ve all seen it. Felt it. Been told to do it.
"Don't embarrass him."
"He's under a lot of stress.""Don’t ruin his life."
"It costs nothing to b [...]
Why Are Women Told to Stay Calm About Things That Should Horrify Everyone?
When women, girls, and children talk about boundaries, it’s not hate speaking. It’s concern. It’s exhaustion. It’s survival language. Too often, th [...]
RED FLAG:🚩 Quick Love Can Be a Cage
When Fast Turns to Fear: What We’re Not Talking About Enough
They came on strong.Said all the right things.Made you feel seen, heard, adored.And be [...]
Costumes of Control: How Some Male Murderers Used Disguise to Harm Women
Throughout history, some of the most dangerous predators have worn masks—not just metaphorical ones, but literal disguises used to deceive, confuse, [...]
Smart People Can Be Fooled: Why Propaganda Loves an Educated Mind
One of the most dangerous myths in the world is the belief that only “ignorant” people fall for propaganda. That is not true. Smart people can b [...]
Missing Black Girls: Still Invisible
How dare you make laws and policies that make our girls less safe!-Tonya GJ Prince Every single year, thousands of Black girls vanish from our comm [...]
The Bird That Runs Scams Better Than Humans (And What It Teaches Us About Manipulation)
To some degree, we all have the capacity to manipulate, but some people make it a lifestyle and take advantage of the vulnerable.
There’s a beautifu [...]
10 Reasons Why “Not This Person” Fails Women Every Time
People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction,
and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of
innocence long after th [...]
Why Moral Clarity Still Matters: Remembering the Victims of Jeffrey Dahmer
Connecting with political allies is harder than people admit—especially when your foundation is not hate, not outrage for sport, but a c [...]
✊🏾 First, We Fight for Our Safety.
Then, We Fight for Our Story.(And We Are Tired.)
She survived.That should be enough.But it never is.
Because first, women have to fight for our safe [...]
🎶 Playlist: Songs That Speak the Truth — Domestic Violence & Survival
Sometimes music is the only thing brave enough to say what we’ve been through.
This playlist brings together 11 songs across R&B, soul, pop, and [...]
Green Flag: Safe Adult Males Stay Out of Female Spaces and Advocate for It
Miss us entirely with all of your hurdles for women to clear demonstrating that we can "be kind" in a world does nothing to make this world safer for [...]
The Survival Doll Trap: A Caution
Stay away from people who can’t wait to see you step into danger, but never rejoice in your survival. These are the ones who treat your survival like [...]
When Chaos Becomes Normal: Relearning the Language of Calm and Boundaries
Some of us grew up learning to breathe in the middle of storms.
We learned to sleep through shouting, to laugh through danger, to keep functioning th [...]
The Harrowing Murder of Olivia Jones | Killers Caught On Camera
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRKZ9tddZrk&t=87s The surveillance cameras that he posted in the home helped to convict him of her murder. They [...]
A Mother Daughter Team Teaching Lessons on Teen Dating Violence: Carolyn Mosely and Ortralla Mosely (Resting in Power)
updated from 2/5/25
I exchanged emails with this mother, Carolyn Mosley, many years ago.
I don't think I will ever forget she and her d [...]
Whispers of Harm: The Global Agreement Against Victims
from WESurviveAbuse.com
They’ve never met.Different languages.Different countries.Different customs.But somehow—they all agree.
There is a global a [...]
🚩 5 Signs You’re Facing Control Disguised as Concern
1. They Center Their Comfort Over Your Safety
If your boundary causes them to feel uncomfortable, they try to make you feel guilty for protecting you [...]
What Is DARVO? How It Harms Black Women and Black Girls
DARVO is a pattern some harmful people use when they are confronted.
It stands for:
DenyThey deny what happened.
AttackThey attack the person who s [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
10 Ways Faux Concern About Cheek Swabs in Sports Does Not Protect Black Women—It Exploits Us
There’s been a growing outcry that cheek swabs to confirm male and female categories in sports will harm Black women. On the surface, it sounds like [...]
📚 Language Is Power. Categories Shape Policy and Perception.
Oppression is not only carried out with fists, laws, and locked doors.It is carried out with words.
Words that erase.Words that confuse.Words that sa [...]
Why I Believe Women When They Say They’re Afraid — And Why You May Want To Too (updated with podcast link)
updated from June 28, 2024 Listen to this blog post here There are mom [...]
The Disposability of the “Wrong” Women: A Call to Conscience (w/Affirmations)
There is a silence that wraps itself around certain women like a shroud—thick, suffocating, strategic.
It’s the silence reserved for women who are p [...]
Some of Us Refuse To Walk Back into Bondage Dressed as Progress
Some folks treat danger like it’s a dare.They treat survival like it’s a thrill.They treat oppression like it’s a rollercoaster ride—they want to hop [...]
Predators Are Not Always Charismatic—Don’t Be Fooled by the Stereotype
Many people have a picture in their minds of what a predator looks like: charming, confident, manipulative, always in control. But let’s be clear—pred [...]
Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Partner
What Love Should Never Cost You
Before abuse becomes obvious, it often shows up in quieter, more subtle ways.In the beginning, it can feel like pas [...]